This post is a bit tongue in cheek ie not to be taken too seriously but if you are offended then you can have me neutered and reprogrammed under the new world order act. I was away all summer so I am still playing catch up.
So Jodie Whittaker is the new Doctor Who….and in addition Trust Me…. I am a Doctor is the title of Jodie’s new series on BBC errr I thought she was a nurse pretending to be a doctor in fact she even admits she is not a ‘real’ doctor.
I am confused which is not an alien concept for me in fact its my normal condition these days and I don’t appear to be the only one even her Dad isn’t sure.
As if that isn’t confusing enough Jodie the new Doc also starred with two previous Doc’s in BroadChurch.
So thats three doctors in the same show but wait it gets even more confusing… in the trailer of the next episode of Doctor Who broadcast at Christmas the 12th Doctor comes face to face with himself only its THE original Doctor the very first one not a copy.
In the above story they are trapped inside a moment of time in a never ending war mm sounds familiar….this was all shown before in a previous series with the second Doctor making his last appearance … a series entitled War Games.
In both shows they are trapped in the trenches of World War One in 1917 exactly one hundred years ago.
The 12th and the 1st Doctor coming face to face sounds like a mirror image or a time loop coming full circle or a wheel to wheel…reel to reel….face to face… or back to back.
The other thing that connects both Doctors is they have both played school caretakers one in Hogwarts and one at Coal Hill….. well a Doctor is supposed to take care of you after all.
If I had a choice to pick a woman to be the new Doc I know WHO I would choose A GENT Carter ….
However how does the 12th Doctor then manage to regenerate a thirteenth time as a woman…what happens to all of his dangly bits… does he get the transgender operation like the creators of the Matrix does he get the chop..off with his head….well he does have a St John’s badge on the door of his blue box.
This appears to be a problem that afflicts all Time Lords as the exact same thing happened to the Master in the last series as the Master became the Missy.
I am glad she lost the beard…bearded women are an acquired taste these days…however there was a kind of sick moment when the Master (his past self).. wanted to get it on with Missy (her future self)…bringing a w hole new level of meaning to go… well you know what I mean.
I mean this is mean’t to be a CHILDREN’S TV show right and then they wonder why the kids are confused when the adults can’t keep up with what the heck is going on.
I do often wonder what it’s like to be inside the mind of a BBC TV child programmer…well they do have history.
Of course Jodie is not the first woman to think she is Doctor Who…Missy got in there before her in the last series when she also pretended…to be the Doctor.
Maybe thats why Missy quit maybe just maybe she wanted to be the star of the show and play the Doctor permanently.
In the series ‘Trust Me’ Jodie moves north to Edinburgh Scotland to pretend to be a Doctor. Scotland is where the 12th Doctor and Missy are from. …both were born in Glasgow maybe the Doctor and Missy are related.
Peter Capaldi’s first episode was filmed in Queen St Cardiff Wales in which one Doctor made a phone call to another Doctor….aaaaargh my head hurts….okay okay deep breaths…NO.. not heavy breathing.
How do the BBC get away with this filth I mean look at the age gap between the 12th Doctor and Clara its just not right…she needs a Prince Charming to come and whisk her away from the dirty old man … oh
At least ITV get it right, nice good wholesome family entertainment with a princess and her prince not a prince who turns into a princess. However if you look back at the previous Doc’s this was always where we were headed.
If I was conspiracy minded I would say there is an transgender agenda going on here but of course thats just ridiculous.
Anyhow where was I oh yes female Doctor’s I missed one out…. Dr Jones no not IN DIANA the other one Suranne Jones who played Doctor Foster in another BBC drama. In this one she played a Doctor who found out her husband was cheating on her with the Killer (White) Queen and kinda went into bunny boiling mode.
Another Jodie…Jodie Comer plays the younger mistress and needless to say both women want to kill each other. It was voted best drama on television last year hell hath no fury and all that.
Jodie Comer previously played Queen Elizabeth of York which was set during the War of the Roses.
Dr Jones sorry Dr Foster also played the 11th Doctor Who’s wife as in the Tardis who turns out to be female and she had a thing for the Doc aaarrghhh I hate the BBC although this episode was written by Neil Gayman.
The Tardis is trapped inside a cage akin to Dr Jones being inside our bones inside our DNA cells and like Dr Foster she is a little bit crazy and likes to bite.
Right on cue Dr Foster returns next week replacing Trust Me.. and the new 13th Doctor in the same Tuesday night timeslot how time wimey is that.
Now let me see…. if Dr Jones/Foster is the Doctors Wife does that mean she is also married to the new Doctor Jodie Whittaker ahh I see where the BBC are going with this they want to see two girls playing Doctors and Nurses.
Let us just leave the whole Pond/River Song thing alone my brain is fried enough.
To confuse things further Doctor Who already has a entire plethora of gay characters the latest one being Pearl Mackie as Bill (original) who after being turned into a cyber woman ran off with a shapeshifting gay alien.
Then we have Vastra a female Silurian warrior from prehistoric Earth who was awakened from hibernation in the 19th century when her lair was disturbed during the construction of the London Underground.
Initially enraged, she slaughtered five commuters before being pacified by the Doctor. She eventually overcame her race’s hatred of humans and joined London society. She became a consulting detective to Scotland Yard, and a possible inspiration for the Sherlock Holmes stories. (Turning Sherlock into Shirley)
Amongst her unseen adventures is her capture of Jack the Ripper, whom she eats (she mentions in “A Good Man Goes to War” that she found him “stringy, but tasty all the same”).
She hired a maid, Jenny Flint, who assists her in her investigations and who is also married to her. Excellent role models for young ladies just keep eating plenty of meat.
Let’s not even mention Captain Jack who was attracted to anything that moved or sometimes anything that didn’t.
Another Jones WHO had the hots for the Doc is Martha Jones played by actress Free my gay man…. is she trying to get the Doc to come out of the Closet/Box/Tardis.
It turns out though that the new pretend Doctor is better than the real Doctors in fact according to them she is a natural… she just needs to start believing in herself….and make the step from being a sidekick a companion a nurse a sister…to a Doctor.
Why not change the storyline and the script and throw out the matrix programmers lets make it a new show…. a new beginning and I don’t mind letting the girl take the lead this time…. as long as I don’t have to wear a collar.
Have a song
aaargh I am turning into Roob noooo I don’t want to change again….